Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
