I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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