I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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