just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
