what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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