She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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