some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
