but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
