No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
