Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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