I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
