I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
