you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
