he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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