I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
