google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
