Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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