Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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