Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
