nut hugger
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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