Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You took a bar mat shot.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
