they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
