That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
