I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
