I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
