Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
