I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
