yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
