I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
