You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
