i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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