my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
