what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
