I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
