You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize