the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
