the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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