he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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