no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
