You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
