Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
