Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
