I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
