i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
