i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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