Apparently you make a good broom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
did you just send me my own nude
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
