So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I enjoy the company of your penis
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
