i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im holly from the hills drunk
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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