I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
