i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
