totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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